i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
