I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
