ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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