yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize