I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Is it penis luge time yet?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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