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I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize