Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I enjoy the company of your penis
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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