Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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