There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
