Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
