I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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