I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
And the cops told us we were all naked.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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