it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
They have beer where we have blood.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize