btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
