Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
