go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
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