Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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