who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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