yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
