That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
