can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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