Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
And the cops told us we were all naked.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
