Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
