nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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