you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you didnt know i had herpes?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
