help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
