Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Randomize
