she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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