There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize