he shaved USA in his pubs
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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