...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
