Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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