I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
dude. I can hear the air.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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