he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
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