i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
