In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
