How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
