i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
