Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
