I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
