i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
