i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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