he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just google imaged poop.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Randomize