I want to make a zoo with you.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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