DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Someone came in the potted fern
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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