dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
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