Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize