why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
