Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
