I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize
