So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
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