one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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