How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize