how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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