Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
