I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Let's paint friendship bongs
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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