She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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