Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
