Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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