so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
