why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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