She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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