I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
