Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
