Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Randomize