There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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