im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Randomize
